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Dinah Lance blondecanary
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Room 312, Monday evening
Okay, her head and face still hurt, but the nausea had faded away, and so had the double-vision. There might be nightmares about crawling, climbing, critiquing zombies later, but for now, there was a kitten, and some quiet music.

[ooc: the door and the post are open, and Dinah has chocolate too. Will be a linkdrop laterish when I have better internet access.]
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"Always in motion is the future," Tahiri said, quoting Luke quoting Yoda. She chewed on her lower lip, thinking about what Ben had said about how different she was from the version of her in his time. "Who knows? Right now I'd just like for the war we're in now to be over."

Dinah gave her another sympathetic look as Camille stretched her neck and meowed again. "Maybe it can be different this time. If it's always in motion, maybe there won't be another war... and yeah." She was quiet. "I wish they'd win your war now too."

"Here's hoping, huh?" Tahiri gave her a slightly more substantial smile this time. "It's been so rough on him. And I hate thinking everything we're doing now is going to go for nothing."

"It's not nothing," Dinah said, not sure how to articulate this. "I mean, maybe things would have been easier if we didn't fight over this last week here, either. But we can't be sure. Just because we don't get a, um, total victory, doesn't mean we didn't make a difference." A line from the play came back to her. "We held the line. So are you."

"Does it ever end, though?" Tahiri asked with a ragged laugh. "The New Republic spent most of the years I was growing up on Tatooine stamping out pockets of resistance. We've been at war since I was thirteen, and by the time I'm twice my age we'll be at war again."

"I'm sorry," Dinah said, aching for Tahiri's exhaustion. "I don't know if they ever end. Do you still believe in what they're fighting for?"

Her mom's voice came back to her suddenly. I want something better than this for you. Because this life will use you up, Dinah.

"What we're fighting for now? Yes," Tahiri said firmly.

She sighed. "I'm being a downer again, aren't I? I don't mean to."

"I think it's kinda inevitable after a week like this," Dinah pointed out. "All the big questions. What's it all mean? How come I'm okay or not, and other people aren't? Does it even matter? Yadda." She smiled at Tahiri. "Gotta find some meaning or go crazy."

"Going crazy is overrated," Tahiri said offhandedly. "Are you really doing okay?"

Dinah grimaced. "I think I'll have some grade-A nightmares for a while." Which she hated, totally aside from the nightmares themselves; it always brought up bad memories. "Everybody I care about is okay, or going to be. I still feel like I could've done more, but mostly... yeah, mostly okay." She smiled at Tahiri. "And people I'd fight with anywhere, any time. It's a good thing to know."

Because, she remembered, her mom always fought alone. Maybe that made the difference. Maybe if she hadn't been such a lone wolf, she wouldn't have burnt out and gone bitter, so angry at the end.

"I'm sorry I didn't see you more during the fight," Tahiri said apologetically. "I got a little wrapped up in stuff where I was. But radio made it sound like you did really well."

"Maybe." At least she could tell her this. "I keep comparing myself to my mom," Dinah said quietly. "And how she would have done this better, been more efficient, taken out the whole army at once, but...." Heresy. "I don't want to be her, either." She gave Tahiri a piercing look. "Is there anything else going on with you? Aside from the general ick, and gah, and ohmygod zombies?"

"That," said Tahiri, who wasn't about to divulge any of what was going on with Ben, because she felt bad enough about asking Ender, "has pretty much taken over my life this past week."

Someone had spent way too much time keeping busy in the interest of avoiding.

Dinah nodded, willing to accept that for now. Because whose hadn't it, really? "And Prom is this weekend. I half just want to skip. Mr. Rogers keeps saying stuff happens afterward. I don't know..."

"I don't know if I'm going," Tahiri said. "Can I even go? How many dances are there in a year anyway?"

. . . and what fun was a dance if your date got twitchy when he got within a couple of centimeters of you?

(no subject) - blondecanary, 2009-04-08 05:15 am (UTC)(Expand)
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